The Eleven-Minute Space Spa Day wasn’t so much a mission as it was a mid-morning joyride dressed up in astronaut cosplay. With headlines screaming “historic” and Katy Perry floating in zero gravity like it was a music video shoot, you’d think these women had just set foot on the moon. In truth, they spent about four minutes weightless and eleven minutes total from launch to landing—roughly the same amount of time it takes to get through a Chick-fil-A drive-thru.
Katy Perry, the Cosmic Cosplay Crew, and the Delusion of Grandeur
We’re told this was the first all-women crew for Blue Origin, and it was framed as a moment of triumph for womankind. The reality? Space tourism with matching jumpsuits and a hashtag. This wasn’t NASA, nor was it a real mission. It was a stunt. No shade to the women themselves—they were invited, they went, they floated—but let’s not confuse a rollercoaster in space with a rendezvous at the International Space Station.
Some members of the crew had impressive careers—one’s a pilot, one’s a businesswoman, and yes, Katy Perry came along too. She did what Katy Perry does: made a scene. She sang What a Wonderful World while floating in zero-G and kissed the ground after landing. No shame in that. I’d probably kiss the Earth too after being hurled into space by Jeff Bezos’ vanity rocket. But it was all so theatrical. Like a galactic girl’s weekend sponsored by Sephora and sprinkled with empowerment slogans.
Meanwhile, real astronauts like Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore spent real time in actual space—working, troubleshooting, and putting in the months-long grind that comes with real missions. They didn’t just float for Instagram content. They didn’t pop in for a cameo and bounce. The Blue Origin crew, by contrast, got to orbit-adjacent altitude, hovered long enough for a few “zero-gravity” clips, then parachuted back like space tourists at a luxury amusement park.
Ummm… not to burst anyone’s bubble but Sunita Williams set records on her three flights to the International Space Station (ISS) and was stranded in space by the last administration.
The cosplay women today that did something for 10 mins was not impressive. https://t.co/gcNOlf4nHE pic.twitter.com/KEDXqNwwgK
— Jeannette Garcia (@Jnet_margarita) April 14, 2025
A PR Stunt Dressed as a Space Mission
What’s wild is the way this was sold to the public. “Groundbreaking!” “Historic!” “A new era!” Cue the montage, cue the branded merch, cue Katy floating in slow motion. It’s like we watched a trailer for a summer blockbuster that forgot to include the plot.
And then there’s the quiet but bold assumption that these women are now astronauts. That’s rich. If a brief suborbital hop makes you an astronaut, then I’m a NASCAR driver every time I merge onto I-65. Actual astronauts like Suni and Butch spend years training for missions that take months. They dock, they spacewalk, they deal with real risk. These ladies took a joyride on a highly glorified carnival ride and a press tour.
None of this is to say that women shouldn’t go to space—of course they should. And will. And have. But elevating an 11-minute PR flight to the level of legitimate space exploration does a disservice to the very people we should be celebrating. If anything, it cheapens it.
So here’s to the real astronauts—the ones who don’t need a publicist, a pop star, or a full face of botox to do something extraordinary. And here’s to recognizing the difference between breaking barriers and booking a brief escape from Earth with a billionaire.
Until Blue Origin starts serving peanuts and boarding groups, I’ll keep measuring their ‘missions’ by whether I can finish making a piece of toast before they’re back on the ground.
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