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Today’s intel, decoded for people who still think
Calm Down, Thomas While the rest of the country was reacting to Trump’s precision strike on Iran’s nuclear facilities with either praise or panic, Rep. Thomas Massie came sprinting out of the woodwork waving a…
Nancy Pelosi’s Trading Skills Would Make Wall Street Blush Nancy Pelosi and her husband raked in millions from the stock market last year—again. According to a New York Post article, the Pelosi household netted somewhere…
Joe Biden's Ice Cream Commute: The Babysitting Chronicles Continue Someone might want to break that news to Joe Biden that he is no longer the President. He's been seen riding Amtrak to Washington, D.C. For…
Whoopi Goldberg Thinks She’s in Tehran. Her Bank Account Says Otherwise. Some people are so rich, so famous, and so sheltered by their own celebrity bubble that they forget where they actually live. Enter Whoopi…
Former Coast Guard Officer Arrested for Threatening to Assassinate Donald Trump - and the media shrugs. A former Coast Guard officer has been arrested for repeatedly threatening to assassinate Donald Trump—a disturbing case that adds…
It’s Friday. Time to grab your coffee, brace for absurdity, and dive into another Americanist Side-Eye Dispatch. This week? Former NFL stars are catching felony charges. Legacy journalists are reinventing themselves as newsletter prophets. Senators…
Mark your calendars: June 14th is shaping up to be more than just Flag Day 2025. Washington, D.C., is throwing a massive military parade to celebrate the U.S. Army’s 250th birthday, complete with tanks, flyovers,…
There’s a difference between aging gracefully and refusing to age at all. Unfortunately, a growing number of Gen X female celebrities, now in their 50s and 60s, are choosing the latter. These women, once the…
Welcome to An Americanist’s Side-Eye —your weekly roundup of headlines that practically beg for a sarcastic slow-blink. I’ll skim the latest absurdities, flag the nonsense, and toss in a few sharp jabs where they’re deserved.…
Former Biden Press Secretary Breaks with Democrats, Blames “Betrayal,” and Doubles Down on the Cheapfake Narrative Karine Jean-Pierre spent two years as the face of Biden’s messaging machine. Now she’s marketing herself as a political…
