Whatever happened to the whole Eric Swalwell scandal?
Seriously. One minute, everybody was breathlessly talking about Eric Swalwell again, the next minute the story vanished into America’s giant pile of unfinished political scandals.
That is how modern scandals work now. Nobody ever really knows how they end. They just slowly drift away into the fog machine of social media while everybody pretends they totally followed the whole thing.
But apparently, the supporting cast kept filming episodes without the rest of us.
Because I stumbled across a completely bonkers New York Post story involving billionaire Democratic donor Stephen Cloobeck, who once publicly backed Eric Swalwell before dramatically throwing him out of his mansion. By the end of the article, I had forgotten that this started as a political story at all.
Apparently, Cloobeck was arrested in Los Angeles on felony charges involving allegedly discouraging a witness from testifying. He denies the allegations. But somehow that was merely the appetizer in this rich-people buffet of insanity.
Democrat Donor Gets Arrested for Witness Tampering After Throwing Swalwell Under the Bus!
Billionaire Stephen Cloobeck, big-time former Dem donor, just got arrested in LA on a felony charge for trying to stop a witness from testifying. Released on $300k bond. This is the same… pic.twitter.com/rSbthoPGZF
— AmericanPapaBear™ (@AmericaPapaBear) May 13, 2026
Because naturally this story also includes:
- a mansion meltdown,
- a Penthouse model fiancée,
- an ankle monitor,
- bikini-model court motions,
- and a wedding apparently hanging together by Botox, legal filings, and sheer determination.
You almost expect Andy Cohen to pop out halfway through the article holding reunion cards.
The Supporting Characters Never Left the Stage
According to the Post story, Cloobeck once allowed Swalwell to film a response video inside his giant California mansion during Swalwell’s own scandal drama. Later, Cloobeck publicly turned on him, reportedly telling him to get out of the house after feeling betrayed.
Now look, normal people have awkward arguments.
Political billionaires apparently have full-scale mansion excommunications.
And honestly, this is what fascinates me most about modern political culture. Somewhere along the line, politics stopped feeling like government and started feeling like Bravo TV with campaign donations.
Every scandal now comes with:
- wealthy donors,
- celebrity-style meltdowns,
- social media videos,
- public breakups,
- and somebody standing in a massive kitchen yelling at another millionaire to leave immediately.
Nobody in these circles ever simply “disagrees.” Everything turns into a production.
And Then the Story Somehow Gets Even Weirder
Just when you think the article cannot possibly add another layer of chaos, it introduces Cloobeck’s fiancée, model Adva Lavie, who is currently facing criminal fraud charges and wearing an ankle monitor while fighting to continue her modeling career.
At one point, according to the article, court filings argued that the ankle monitor could damage swimsuit photo shoots.
I am not making this up.
The billionaire, who ran for governor briefly last year before dropping out to support Swalwell, has now said he’s a libertarian Republican.
Cloobeck has been busy since.
He announced last month he would marry Penthouse Pet Adva Lavie, 28, despite claims she thieved off old men.
She is currently not allowed to leave California, sporting an ankle monitor. She appeared in court recently after pleading not guilty to six felony charges for allegedly preying on old men through dating apps.
Cloobeck told the California Post he still wants to marry her, saying: “The marriage is still on, the date is now a secret.”
The ankle monitor will ruin any plans to have an international wedding. She’s tried to get it removed, claiming it will hurt her modeling career. – The New York Post
There are apparently letters from employers discussing how difficult it is to showcase bikinis while accessorizing with criminal justice equipment properly. Has no one heard of the photoshop? I mean even the Apple iPhone has a “disappear” tool for their photo app.
Every paragraph in this story feels like somebody spun the Wheel of California. But, it’s California, so there ya go.
And again, I would like to remind everyone this article technically started as a political story involving a sitting member of Congress.
I’ve stopped picturing Capitol Hill and started picturing a reality show filmed entirely inside luxury kitchens with cold white marble countertops.
Rich Political People Always End Up in Strange Side Quests
Can I just say it seems like rich political people seem to live in an entirely different America than the rest of us.
The average person is trying to survive grocery prices and maybe squeeze in a quiet weekend without their water heater exploding.
Meanwhile, political elites are out here:
- throwing people out of mansions,
- rebranding themselves politically,
- planning ankle-monitor weddings,
- and starring in stories that sound like rejected Hulu scripts.
Somehow, these people are always orbiting politics.
That is the part I cannot get over.
Politics used to at least pretend to be serious. Now every scandal somehow drifts into Epstein flight logs, Hunter Biden drama, Clinton-era cigar jokes, George Santos theater, CIA affairs, and weird rich-people side quests.
At this point, I fully expect the next congressional controversy to involve a crypto investor, a wellness retreat, three podcasts, and somebody fleeing Malibu barefoot.
Birds Of A Feather
What makes this even funnier in hindsight is that Cloobeck once practically conducted a televised love letter to Swalwell while dropping out of the California governor’s race to support him.
In an old interview clip floating around YouTube, Cloobeck praised Swalwell as a man of “integrity,” “character,” and “values,” while officially merging his campaign into Swalwell’s effort.
He even handed him a golden bear pin on camera like they were exchanging friendship bracelets at summer camp.
Fast forward a bit and suddenly Cloobeck is publicly throwing Swalwell out of his mansion after allegations involving sexual misconduct surfaced.
Oops.
Politics is amazing. One year somebody is calling you a man of integrity on television. The next year they are reportedly telling you to get the hell out of the mansion.
The Real Mystery
I still do not fully understand what the original Eric Swalwell scandal even was anymore. That is how bizarre modern politics has become. The side characters are now more memorable than the politicians themselves.
And somehow, there is always a mansion involved.
Feature Image: AI-generated illustration.
